The Struggle
by Bethy99
Summary: Here I am, sixteen years old and in love with a man that is over ten years older than me. What am I thinking? What will Esme do to be with Dr. Carlisle Cullen? Will she run or stay behind? Will she find another man to love? The story of their love!
1. The Ghost

Here I am, sixteen years old and in love with a man that is over ten years older than me. What am I thinking? I'm sure he is married and I shouldn't be thinking this. He was so gorgeous standing there examining my leg and listening to my father telling how I injured myself.

I guess I should probably start from the beginning. My name is Esme Anne Platt, and I'm a farmer's daughter. We live on the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio where we have a little farm with cows and horses. My mother told me that I was born on a rainy night in March 1895, right here on the farm. She believes that's why I love the farm so much because I was born right there in front of the animals.

To get you back to my rambling, this is my love story which started months ago. I was out riding my horse, Rose, on a beautiful summer day. Her coat just shined in the sun, beautiful black, Arabian horse. My father surprised me with her on my sixteenth birthday. We were out riding and rounding up the cattle. When we had pushed them into the other pasture to eat, I told Rose it was time to head home. She took off in a run, she knew when we arrived back at the barn she would get brushed and receive her favorite snack, apples.

We came around the corner of the barn and she slowed down to a prance and then all of a sudden she reared up and started bucking. I heard my father scream, and then I felt my body hit the ground hard. I gasped for air and my mind was trying to figure out what just happened. I tried to look around when I realized that my left foot was still hooked in the boot strap. As I reached up and tried to grab the boot strap to remove my foot, I saw Rose start to rear up again. I realized that this was going to hurt me. I felt myself in the air again and then felt a sharp pain right below my knee of my left leg which had finally came unhooked from the boot strap. I screamed and when I finally landed I was crying not just from the pain but because I couldn't breath. All the air was knocked out of me when I came down and landed on my stomach. I raised my head up to look for my father but instead of his face in my insight, I saw fangs of a rattlesnake. I knew at that moment why Rose was bucking but also realized that I was in trouble. The snake was alert and had his rattler shaking. I knew it would be at any moment that rattler would lounge toward me and it would be over. I heard my father cocking his shot gun, and then heard a loud band, saw dirt flying up. The rattler was laying in pieces in front of me. Lucky for me, my father is a good shot.

I heard footprints behind me, heard my mother yelling from the house. I felt my father hands around my right arm to pull me over and I screamed. "My leg is broke father! It hurts badly!" He pulled on my arm to roll me over so I could look at him. I saw the horror in his eyes. I could see that he didn't know if he would make that shot or not.

"Stay put Esme!" He whispered to me. He took off running toward the house. II knew he wasn't gone long but I was still scared. He came back with a board and some rope. "Honey, I'm going to tie your leg down to the board. Do you hurt anywhere else?" I tried to move to see, "Don't move! Mr. Saunders will be on his way with a vehicle so that we can take you to the hospital to have the doctors look at it." I just nodded at bit my lip so that I didn't scream again. When he touched my leg, I couldn't help but scream and cry at him to leave it alone. I felt the board under my leg and the ties coming across my thigh and then around my ankle. I must have gone into shock because I don't remember much after that.

I heard a vehicle hit the gravel of our driveway, must be Mr. Saunders. I opened my eyes and saw my mother's face. I felt her cold hand on my forehead; she must have gone to get Mr. Saunders. She had tears in her eyes and she was sitting on the hard ground beside me, whispering words of encouragement. My father told my mother to stay put and attend to Rose, and that he and Mr. Saunders will take me. I felt hands under my arms and ankles. They picked me up as gentle as they could. I felt like I was floating through the air and I didn't feel any pain elsewhere.

And that's where we are now. At Grant hospital and Dr. Carlisle Cullen is addressing my very serious leg injury. He walked into the room like an angel. Very smooth motion and a smile that would make any women's knees go weak. His hair was blonde, and was long enough to give it a little wave. His skin looked soft and transparent. His lips are a delicious pink. When I made it to his eyes I sighed. His eyes were so beautiful and sultry. They were a golden color, reminding me of the maple leafs when they change during the fall.

"Well, Ms. Platt, you have a serious injury here. However I don't see anything that would make me have to do surgery. I have come up with a new technique to help heal this kind of injury. Would you like to try it out and help me do some research with it?" He turned his eyes to me and my breath caught in my throat. My father cleared his throat and I blinked and gasped for air. "What do you say Esme?" My father questioned me. I looked over at my father and then back to Dr. Cullen and smiled. "I would love to Dr. Cullen."

"Great! Now I'm going to remove this board. It's going to hurt and I do apologize. Here we go." He pulled the board as fast as he could. I was holding my breath and biting my lip. I didn't scream but whimper instead. Dr. Cullen just smiled, "You have one tough daughter, Mr. Platt." I grinned and Dr. Cullen looked right into my eyes and I lost all track of time and what he was doing.

"Okay, I'm done! Now, you will not be able to ride until we remove this. Also do not get this wet, it will make the plaster soften and that's not what we want. We want it to be hard to protect your leg." I didn't know that he even did anything to my leg. I was so lost in his face and eyes that when I looked down my leg was covered from my ankle to mid thigh with a white colored substance. I touched it and it was hard as a rock. Shock most have been on my face because I heard a snicker and it wasn't from my father. Was that Dr. Cullen laughing at me? I looked up in his direction and he had a beautiful smile on his face. He knocked on the material and said, "Hard as a rock! You won't be able to destroy this. I have to remove it with a saw. You will unfortunately have to wear it for 10 weeks. At that time Mr. Platt, I'll remove the cast and check the leg and see how it set. If all is well she will be able to walk and ride again." My father nodded and looked at me. I smiled at him and then turned my attention back to Dr. Cullen. He winked at me and moved towards the door.

"Dr Cullen?" Finally I have my voice back. He turned with a smile on his face, "yes, Ms. Platt?" I forgot what I was going to say for a moment. "Do we come back here or do you have an office?" That's a proper question to ask, I was really just trying to keep him there a little longer. He nodded and looked at my father, "Bring her back here in 10weeks about this time. I'll be here." With that he walked out the room with no glance in my direction.

On the way home I couldn't help but think about him. Why was I thinking about him? He is an adult and I'm a young woman; young but still a woman. I let out a loud sigh. "You okay Esme?" My father was concerned for me, so I looked up and smiled. "Yes, father I'm okay, just tired. Do you know if Rose is okay? Can I go see her, she is probably really upset." My father was staring at me and nodded. "I'll help you to the barn so you can say good night to her."

We arrived to the house and mother was there awaiting our arrival. I got out with what Dr. Cullen called a crutch and my mother started to cry. I told her that I was fine, just sore and tired. We thanked Mr. Saunders for the help and the three of us walked to the barn. I could tell Rose was upset, she was hanging her head when I walked into the barn. I went up and started rubbing her nose and whispering to her. "Rose it wasn't your fault. You were trying to protect me and I know that. You did nothing wrong." She finally looked up and started to dig her shoe into the ground to tell me that she understood.

I smiled at her and rubbed her nose some more. "Now, I promised you something didn't I?" I had a red apple in my hand. She nodded her head as if she was talking right back to me. I gave her the apple and rubbed her nose some more. My fathers hand was on my shoulder now. "Come on dear. Let's get you in the house. Get you something to eat and get you to bed. You have to be tired." I nodded and told Rose that I wouldn't be able to ride her for a while. I would be able to come, let her out to run and give her apples every day. She kicked the door to let me know that she was excited about the apples. I snickered at her, rubbed that lovely nose and whispered good night.

That night I dreamed about Dr. Cullen. He was watching me, every time I turned a corner he was there. It was weird at how his eyes followed me and there was difference behind them. They were almost cloudy with a hunger that I didn't understand. When I woke up, I sat start up and was gasping for air. At the end of this dream, Dr. Cullen had reached me and kissed me.

Ten weeks went by faster than I thought that they would. I still had dreams about Dr. Cullen and they were different every time. When my father and I walked through the entrance of the hospital we turned to go towards the emergency room when I saw him standing at the desk. The air caught in my throat and I stopped moving. My father turned and looked at me trying to figure out what is wrong. When he followed my gaze he chuckled and grabbed my arm. "Dear, it will be okay. He won't hurt you."

I looked at my father with the thoughts trailing in my mind. I'm not afraid of him, I adore him. I would love him like no other woman could or would. I blinked and nodded my head to him because I couldn't trust my voice. When we both looked over to the desk again, Dr. Cullen was standing there smiling.

"Well, you look exceptionally well. Let's take a look at that leg." I nodded still unable, afraid to speak. He led us to an exam room off the emergency entrance. He motioned me to get up on the table, not saying anything or looking right at me. I got up on the table still staring at him, hoping to see those beautiful eyes. Finally he turned to face my father and me. I think I stopped breathing for a moment, his eyes were black. That was weird I remember them being golden, not black. Maybe it's the lighting in here. I gasped for air again. I dropped my head to look at my feet. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my fathers' puzzled look. I shrugged letting him know that I saw him. He turned his attention back to the doctor.

"Well, this is what is going to happen," Dr. Cullen said. "I'm going to cut this material off of you and then I'll examine your leg. You will most likely be tender but I want you to tell me if it still hurts like it did when you first fell. Do you think that you can do that for me Ms. Platt?" I looked up at the doctor again while coaching myself to breath. He had that perfect smile again. I nodded at him but didn't taking my eyes off his. I didn't see any color around the blackness, beautiful but yet alarming.

He looked away this time, to get the saw. He told us that it will be loud and might tickle me due to the vibrations. He was so careful and took his time. It almost felt like he didn't want me to leave. Like there was electricity between him and me. Finally he got the cast off, he touched my leg, and a current went threw my body that I never felt before. It felt like I was sapped with electrical wiring. Dr. Cullen pulled his hand back in response to it. He must have felt it too because when I looked at him, he was as surprised as me. He backed away and cleared his throat. "Please Ms. Platt, stand up and tell me how it feels. Mr. Platt, be ready to catch her if needed."

I slid myself to the end of the table and carefully put my leg down. It was very weak, but no pain. A smile came across my face and my eyes went to my father. He was grinning back, excited just like I was. I then looked at Dr. Cullen and he also had a brilliant smile across his face. "I guess you won't need my services again?" I thought that I saw a bit of sadness in those eyes. I nodded yet again, afraid my voice might give me away.

"Well, the best of luck to you Ms. Platt, and Mr. Platt." As if he was a ghost, he disappeared out of the room and out of my life. I will never see him again. I wanted to cry but I knew I couldn't with my father standing right there. My heart was aching and breaking, I could feel it. My father put his arm around me and cooed, "Let's get home!"


	2. Mr Charming

A couple of years have past now and I'm eighteen. I have been living my life on the farm but not with out thinking and dreaming of Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Since my birthday I have thought about taking my horse, Rose into the city and see if I could track him down. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to talk and what would I say to him? All of those thoughts ran through my mind not helping me decide.

On a spring morning my father called me downstairs. As I came around the corner of the stairwell, there stood a tall young man with my father. I looked right into the young mans' eyes, they were the color of the sky, pale blue with dark eyelashes. I looked at my father who had a huge smile on his face. I gave him a puzzled look and then he spoke, "Esme, this is Charles Evenson. He just moved in across the road. He came over to introduce himself and to meet you." My father seemed to be very proud his chest was up in the air.

I turned my attention back to Charles and smiled. He extended his hand to allow me to shake it. "Hello Ms. Platt. It's a real pleasure to meet you." Very charming, I thought. I took his hand, shook it, and looked into his eyes. "A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Evenson," I said in a quiet voice. I got lost for a moment and felt my cheeks get hot. Was I blushing? A smile crept across Charles face and he let go of my hand. He turned and looked at my father, "Thank you Mr. Platt. I appreciated the help this morning. Let me know if there is anything you need." He turned back to me, "Ms. Platt," and tipped his head. I did the same in return and he turned around and left the house.

I stood there stunned, shocked, and amazed. I heard my father chuckle and I turned to look at him. He was walking towards the kitchen, so I followed behind him. I need to ask him who he was and what he did for the charming, dashing man.

Mother was standing in front of the stove cooking breakfast. I couldn't wait any longer, I had to ask. "Father, who was that and what did you do to help him?" He raised one eyebrow as he looked up from the paper. "Why does it matter Esme?" I saw the smirk he had on his face. He was enjoying this way too much. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, "Just wondering."

Mother came over and laid a plate in front of father and then me. "Dear, it's not nice to pry." She squeezed my shoulder. I nodded, looked down at my food. My father cleared his throat. "She can ask. He had a couple of cattle get out and I went over to help him with the fence while he rounded them up. He is fancy about you though." My head snapped up to see my father's face with a huge grin on it. He continued, "He said that he saw you riding the other day bringing the cattle in. He asked me if you were talking to anyone and asked if I would give him permission to ask you to dinner." My mouth was hanging open until I realized it and I snapped it shut. He was a true gentleman, asking my fathers' permission and speaking so correctly it was charming. I looked back at my food.

"What did you tell him father?" I finally asked. He laughed, "I told him that you are a strong woman and he would have to ask you himself. Not me." I sighed in relief. All of a sudden, Charles face comes to my mind with Carlisle right there beside him. I can't have both I thought. I had to find Dr. Cullen and see if there is something there.

"Father is it okay if I go into town? I think Rose would like a nice long ride and I would too." The look on his face was happy, yet curious. "Sure dear. You can do the chores when you get back home. I think it would do the both of you good to get out." I smiled and took off up the stairs to get my riding boots and gear. As I walked to the door, mother came running to me and gave me a hug. "Please be careful dear." I nodded to her and she kissed my forehead.

I went into the barn and Rose was kicking her door. She wanted me to get her out. I rubbed her nose and whispered, "Want to run Rose? Want to go into town?" She nodded her head and I let a smile slip out. I was on my way to see Dr. Cullen and see if there was really something there. If not, Charles could possible be the one that I'm searching for. I was so excited, when I jumped up on Rose back and got my self in the seat I kicked her and she reared up. She took off out the door at top speed. I loved riding her, it was so accelerating.

We made it to town in record time. I slowed Rose down to a prance and turned her to go towards the hospital. When I did arrive to the hospital I told Rose to stay and that I would be right back. I started to have memories of the time my father and I walked in here. No time for that, I thought in my head. I walked through the doors and went to the desk where a young lady sat.

"May I help you dear?" She smiled at me. "Umm...yes ma'am. I'm looking for Dr. Carlisle Cullen." I smiled back at her. Except her smile faded, "I'm so sorry dear, Dr. Carlisle Cullen isn't here anymore." Shock came across my face, "Where is he?" She looked at me puzzled and continued, "I heard that he left to go out west. Not for sure where. He left about two years ago. Would you like to see someone else?" I turned and walked away. Tears started to form in my eyes. Why am I crying? I didn't really know him, nor was there really any chance that I would be for him. He left two years ago, then that means around the time my leg was healed.

I was still in my thoughts when I walked outside and looked over at Rose. There was a man standing by her and rubbing her nose. He was tall, with blonde hair that was a little longer than usual. I stopped in my tracks, could it be him, Dr. Cullen. From this angle it could possible be. My voice and air caught in my throat. Rose snorted which brought me back to reality and I gasped for air. The man turned around and saw it was Charles. Those eyes were going straight through me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you Ms. Platt. I saw you take off on your beautiful horse and I thought that maybe you would like a riding companion." I looked over his shoulder to see another Arabian, jet black stallion. I looked back at him and he had this breath taking smile on his face. I couldn't help but nod and smile back at him. He assisted me onto Rose, I waited until he was on his stallion, and we rode back to the house but not in a rush.

We talked on the way home. He was amazing, very charming, and a gentleman but Dr. Cullen's face kept coming back into my mind. Sometimes I wasn't paying any attention to Charles and I felt a little guilty. "What are you thinking about Ms. Platt?" I blinked at him and I saw that smile again. I laughed at myself and shrugged. "What took you to the hospital today?" He looked at me puzzled and I shrugged again. He continued to push, "Well you wouldn't just go to the hospital unless there was a reason." I continued to look ahead until I felt his hand on my forearm and I looked over at him. He had a concerned look on his face. I sighed, I had to tell him something or he would keep pushing.

"I went there looking for a friend, but my friend isn't there anymore. He left." I paused and realized that I said he and I wondered if Charles would catch that. "He, huh?" He turned his face away from me and looked ahead. Of course he would catch that. A smile crossed my face, "Want to race home?" He turned back to look at me and I looked straight into those eyes and they lit up. That smile came back across his face, "We will win," he patted his horse and winked at me.

I laughed and patted Rose's neck, "I doubt that, ha," I kicked Rose's side and she took off like a bolt. Charles was a little late on his kick but caught up to me. I was laughing at Charles taunting Rose and me, from behind. We rounded the corner of the road and I wanted to show off so I directed Rose towards the fence. We had jumped it on accessions. She took off to gain more speed and she leapt over the fence. We ran straight to the barn and I jumped off, patting her neck and rubbing her nose. Whispering to her how much I loved her and how she was such a good horse.

Charles arrived on his stallion by the time I got Rose in her stall. I walked over to Charles horse with an apple in hand. I rubbed the stallion's nose and whispered, "Would you like an apple?" He nodded his head just like Rose does. I looked at Charles and he nodded with a smile on his face. "What's your name stallion?" Charles snickered and said, "Well, my name is Charles, but if you are talking about him, his name is Buck"

Charles had slid off the horse and walked over to my side. "So who was this friend? Was he someone important?" I looked up into those blue eyes and smiled. "No, he wasn't anyone important. He was just a friend and I wanted to say hello." He nodded and started to lean in towards me. I stepped back to get away from him. Even if he is a gentleman, he didn't need to be that close to me. He laughed and grabbed a leaf from my hair. "OH!" I gasped and started to laugh with him.

"Well hello there," my fathers' voice came from the barn door. "Charles it's nice to see you again." My father grabbed Charles hand and shook it. Father looked over at me and smiled. "Did you have a good ride dear?" Rose kicked the door to tell him yes and I laughed. "Rose seems to think so, but yes father I did have a good ride. I ran into Mr. Evenson in town and he escorted me home. This is his stallion, Buck. Isn't he beautiful?" I rubbed Buck's nose again and he dug his hoof in the ground to tell me that he thanked me for the compliment. I giggled at him and patted his neck.

"Well thank you Charles for doing that for us. That was very nice to take care of my daughter. Would you like to stay for supper? I'll bet that Mrs. Platt would enjoy it." I could see what my father was doing, trying to push him into the family already. "Thank you Mr. Platt but I unfortunately have plans. Maybe some other time, Ms. Platt until next time." He nodded his head and jumped back up on Buck. He turned him around and then was out the door.

I stood there staring in his direction. I heard my father snicker and I looked over at him. "Love is grand," he snickered again. I gasped, "I'm not in love father. He's a nice man and I enjoy his company. It doesn't mean I'm in love." My father shook his head and chuckled, turning away from me and walked out the door.

When I finally drifted off to sleep, my mind seemed to be traveling back and forth between Charles and Carlisle. I dreamed that Carlisle holding me and telling me to be happy. Kissing my head and then he was gone. It felt like my heart was breaking in my chest. I wanted Carlisle. I called out for him but Charles came instead. He wiped the tears from my face and kissed both my cheeks and told me everything will be fine. He will take care of me, and love me forever. I sighed and loved the feeling of Charles in my arms but still my heart ached. I opened my eyes to look over Charles shoulder and saw Carlisle standing there with tears in his eyes. I called out for him again, reaching for him but he faded into the darkness of my dream.

I sat up in bed gasping for air and crying so hard that I felt like I was going to die. I don't understand why I'm so drawn to Carlisle. Why my dreams were so vivid. It felt like he was there in my arms at one moment. That his eyes where right there looking at me. I thought that his smell was still in the room. It broke my heart more to realize that I was just dreaming and that Carlisle is no longer here.


	3. Dreams

The time had past and I was enjoying Charles presence. There was still something missing though. I knew what it was but I didn't know how to fix it. My father kept pushing me to marry Charles and start my life. My heart was telling me something else. It was craving for me to find Carlisle. My brain was on a constant go, trying to decide between Charles and Carlisle.

One morning I thought that maybe I need to travel. This is not something a woman in the 1900's do. So my father was the typical male response. "ABSOLUTELY NOT, ESME," he bellowed at me. I cringed away afraid of what might happen next. My father grabbed my arm and pulled me to the living room and sat me on the couch. He sat on the table in front of me. "Why on earth do you want to leave Charles, your mother, and me?" I looked into his eyes and I saw the tear welling up. I couldn't help but reach up and hug him. "Father, I don't want to hurt you. I need to clear my thoughts. I can't do it here." I started to cry into his chest. Father started to rub my back and was cooing at me to calm down. I couldn't I just cried into him.

I don't know how long we sat there. I felt my father loosing my grip and wrapping me around my mother. I continued to cry until I heard his voice. Father had went and got Charles, "Esme, honey, what's wrong?" I looked up at him and started to cry harder. He came over and sat on the table where my father was before he left. He rubbed my back and whispered in my ear that he was here and not leaving. My cries were now to the point of hyperventilation and knew that he would alone be able to calm me. I let go of my mother and lounged towards Charles waist. He chuckled a little and then asked my mother to get me a drink of water. He got up and moved to where my mother was just sitting. He pulled me into his lap and cooed in my ear some more. He was letting me know that he will be here as long as I needed him.

After what seem like days my sobs slowed down and Charles was still sitting there cooing in my ear. I finally let out a sigh and closed my eyes. I fell asleep in his arms. I dreamed of him, us getting married, having children, and feeling the love between. I woke up and realized that he was still there, rubbing my face. I saw those beautiful blue eyes looking down at me and I smiled. He smiled back and leaned in to kiss me. His lips were always so gentle and loving.

I returned the kiss with a little force behind it. He chuckled and that's when I realized that I was in my bed. The look of horror must have come across my face and I heard him chuckle again. "Its okay love, your father and mother are down stairs. They allowed me to come up here and lay with you until you awoke. I guess it's time for me to go now." Tears started to well up again. Not again, he can't leave me like Dr. Cullen did. He saw my eyes and started to rub my face again with his thumb. I sighed and leaned in for another kiss but this time it was with passion. He groaned and I felt the arousal building up in us both. Everything felt right; everything was forgotten, for now.

We finally broke away to catch our breaths and I got up off the bed. The room started to spin a little and I started to fall but Charles caught me in time. "Did I do that to you love?" He had a huge smile that made his eyes sparkle. I chuckled and started to stand up straight and pulled his hand into mine. "I guess you did," as I leaned in for another kiss but instead of the lips, he kissed my forehead. "I don't want you falling down the stairs."

As I turned to leave he pulled me back so that I fell into his chest. I looked up and he looked more serious. I stopped breathing; I have never seen his face so hard and far away. "Esme, we need to talk. Can we take a walk to the barn?" I nodded and pulled him out of the room.

Father and mother were in the kitchen. They both smiled when they saw us hand and hand. "Father we are going out to the barn. I'll start my chores while I'm out there." Father shook his head and smiled, "It's okay Esme, I already did it. You two have fun." I smiled and looked up at Charles. Charles said his thanks and left with me.

We arrived to the barn and Rose started to kick her door when she saw me come in. I ran up to her and started to rub her nose and gave her an apple. I turned to look at Charles and he was leaning up against the door of the barn with a huge grin on his face. "So what did you want to talk about dear?" I said while walking towards him. He looked absolutely gorgeous standing there. He pushed himself off the wall and walked towards me to meet half way. He grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him. I gasped when I felt him against me. I could feel every part of his body like it was water.

He took his right hand and cupped it under my jaw and stared into my eyes. That beautiful mouth started to open like he was either going to say something or kiss me. I leaned in, in hopes of a kiss from those lips but he spoke instead. "Love, we have been dating for about two years now and I wanted to know something." I continued to look at him trying to figure out where he's going with this. He continued, "I love you more than life it's self. I want you to be there for me and to be beside me through the thick and thin." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring. I gasped and started to shake. I don't know if I'm ready for this. He got down on one knee and started again, "I've already asked your father and he has given us the blessing. Would you, Esme Anne Platt, take this ring and become my wife?"

I stood there, stunned, nervous, scared, excited, every emotion imaginable. I didn't know what to do or say. All I remember was hit the ground. The next thing was Charles looking over me, "Esme, honey, are you okay?" I blinked a couple of times and realized that I was on the barn floor, I must have passed out. I looked around and it was just us two, well besides Rose. I looked into his eyes and he started to chuckle. "Oh honey, it's just us. You just passed out, either because what I asked or you locked your knees." I laughed and sat up. He sat up too, watching me the whole time.

I started to think about what he just did and about Carlisle. Why does he keep creeping around in my mind? Carlisle is somewhere else and I'm sure he's married and has children of his own. I'm not anything to him and I have a beautiful man right here beside me asking for my hand in marriage. I looked over at Charles and he had a look of worry, scared, love in his eyes. I leaned over and kissed him again but this time I pulled myself on top of his body which made him fall back to the floor again.

I moved my body so that I could straddle him, kiss him more deeply. He started to chuckle under my kiss. I pulled away and he sat up, which made me slid down his body. I could feel his manhood at that moment, which made me sigh. I was relieved that I made him feel that way.

"Sweetheart, we have all the time in the world for that. Let's wait until we are married though. Can we do that?" He smiled and I saw the ring again in his hand. I looked at him with a smile starting to appear, "Of course, Charles! I would love to marry you." He took the ring and placed it on my finger. Once it was placed I looked into his eyes again and there was a fire of passion. I kissed him again this time I needed him more. I took my tongue and traced his lower lip asking for permission and he obliged. Our tongues danced and then I felt his hands moving around my body. His hands never stopped moving until the kiss became too much and his one hand was on the back of my neck and the other on my lower back. He pulled me in closer to him. I sighed in response of his manhood pressing against his pants and against me. We heard a throat clear and we both snapped our heads toward the noise.

My father was standing in the door with a smile on his face. "Sorry kids but mother wanted me to come and get you, supper is ready. It looks like we have some talking to do." I started to blush and Charles chuckled at my embarrassment. He stood up still holding onto me, he let me slowly drop to the floor of the barn not leaving my eyes. The whole time feeling him pressed up against me. I let out a sigh when I hit the floor and he smiled. We walked with my father to the house, in total arousal but we had to keep ourselves for the wedding. I can do that, or at least I will try my best. I squeezed his hand and he did the same in return.

We walked unto the porch and Charles stopped, "Sir, I'm sorry I need to ask Esme something. We will be in, just a moment." Father smiled and walked into the house and disappeared around the corner of the kitchen. Charles pushed me against the house and pushed himself against me. My leg went up on his hip, I moaned when I felt him against me. He leaned in close and lightly brushed his lips against mine. "I don't know what is going on with you right now. I wish you would tell me but I know you will in time. You are mine now. All mine, and no one will take you away from me. You can't run from me now Esme. I have you." With that he kissed me so hard that it hurt. He pushed into me farther, I felt like he was crushing me.

When he was done, he stood back to allow me to get some air. My whole body hurt now and tears started to form in my eyes. He had pushed me so hard into the house I could feel the wood slats on my back and my leg. My lips were on fire from the force of his kiss. He smiled and grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door.

We got to the kitchen and my father look surprised by my expression. I smiled and sat down at the table. My mother came by and gave father his plate then Charles. Father turned and started a conversation with Charles. "So Charles, what's been going on over at your farm?" As they started to talk about the cattle and the equipment, my mother gave me my plate and screamed. I jumped which made the soreness of what Charles did to me hurt all over. I finally got the pain to hold of and said, "Mother, you okay?" I looked up at her and followed her eyes to see what she was looking at, my hand. It hit me then that she didn't know. "Oh, um mother" but before I could finish Charles chimed in, "I'm sorry Mrs. Platt. I should have told you before I asked but it was, well a moments choice." He smiled at me and then looked at my mother. I looked back and saw a smile across her face.

"Oh honey, your getting married," she squealed. I have never heard her do that. I jumped again which caused the pain to return. I smiled and told her yes and she hugged me tightly. Tears started to well up again, but not because of happiness, it was the pain.

I looked over at Charles who had a smile on his face. I didn't smile back at him, I was starting to think this was a bad idea, but what else was there. He loved me, and I loved him. He loves animals like I did. Still in the back of my mind what he said to me outside scared me. "You're mine! No one will ever have you. All mine," that made it sound more like ownership.

After Charles kissed me goodnight and left, I went start up to the bedroom to look at my back. I saw the bruises starting to form on my back and leg from the wood slats. I changed into my nightgown and went out to the stairwell to tell my parents that I was off to bed.

I crawled up under the covers. I closed my eyes and I could smell Charles but then I smelled someone else. I could smell Carlisle. My eyes shot open and jumped up, looking around the room. What was I thinking, like he would be in my room? I crawled back into bed and rolled over, drifted off to sleep. I felt arms around me and I looked behind me, it was Carlisle. I shifted so that I was facing him. I put my head onto his chest and smelled him in so deeply, so good. I looked up into those golden eyes, which went deep into my soul. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Live your life, enjoy! Be happy, love!" and then he moved back to look in my eyes. Tears welled up in my eyes, heart started to break again but this time he leaned in and kissed my lips. His lips were so soft, gentle and caring. Then he was gone from my arms again.

I sat straight up in bed. I blinked my eyes a couple of times. Damn those dreams for being so real. It was morning, and the whole night I dreamt of Carlisle, not Charles. I sighed because I wanted the dream to be true. I wanted to touch him and feel him, feel the electricity between us again. I sighed and started to get ready for a long day on the farm.


	4. Wedding

The leaves were starting to change color. Fall in Ohio is a beautiful sight, and it was my wedding day. It's a beautiful sunny day for September 8, 1917. It was just warm enough that you could walk outside with no coat.

We decided to get married on my parent's farm. Everyone was outside and was waiting on me. I fidgeted with my dress some more while my mother put the finally touches on my hair. She had it very elegant with loose curls that lay on my shoulders and the top part of my hair pulled up with bobby pins to bunch up the curls. She lightly put my veil on and sighed. I turned to look at her and she was crying. I put my arms out to hug her and she fell into them.

"I'm so happy for you. You have found true love. He's a good man and will take care of you, I know he will." I was rubbing her back wanting to comfort her but those words ran in my ears. 'A good man. He will take care of you,' I knew it was so make believe but what else was there for me.

My mother sensed my uneasiness and pulled back to look at me. "Dear, are you okay?" I was off in the distance, thinking about that past few years. The dreams, the nightmares, the hurt and I was about to walk towards it. What happened to my dreams of running and trying to find Dr. Cullen? What happened to me finding my true love and living happily ever after? I know, it only happens in fairytales. I felt my mother grab my arm as she shook me lightly. "Yes mother, I'm fine. I'm really to go now," I whispered to her. She nodded and left the room.

I turned to get one last look at myself in the mirror. I fidgeted with my dress a little more and then I looked right into the mirror, into my eyes. I saw something move behind me which drew me out of the trance I was in. My father was standing in the doorway with his mouth hanging open. He had never seen me in a dress before. Not must people have. I smiled and turned to face him. He walked towards me and kissed my cheek, "Darlin' you look beautiful."

I laughed, "I don't think so father, but thank you." I leaned in to hug him. After the moment of embrace he pulled back with his hands on my shoulders, "You ready?" I must have stopped breathing for a moment, I inhaled sharply. Father grabbed my arm and placed my hand around his forearm. "Come on dear. It's time to live your life and marry the man of your dreams."

I looked over at him wanting to say, no. This is not the man of my dreams. The man of my dreams ran from me and I was going for second best. I wanted to run, run far away and find the man of my dreams. He patted my hand and led me out the door. The only reason I stayed and was going to marry this man was for my father and mother. They begged me to stay and marry Charles. They begged me not to go and I knew if I did it would kill them. I had to do it for my family.

We walked down the stairs of the house and out the back door. I hadn't seen everything set up. Mother wanted it to be a surprise. They had white chairs in the yard with a white cloth that went down between the seats; making an alley for my father and me to walk down. On each side of the pastor was a large arrangement of flowers, my favorites. I could smell the orchids and roses.

I felt a tap on my arm and my father handed me a banquet of orchids and roses. A smile came across my face. I looked into my fathers eyes and I could see the pride, happiness that filled them. He lowered my veil and whispered, "Let's get this done. I'm hungry." I snickered and nodded for him to continue.

The wedding went fast. We said our 'I do's' and Charles kissed me like I was about to die. Then the pastor announced us as, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Evenson.

Charles and I walked down the isle and went into the house to let people get organize and head to the barn for dinner. We had cleaned it out, took Rose over to Charles barn for her to get use to it. As we walked in the door I started to move towards the kitchen and Charles grabbed my arm. "Where do you think your going?" He pulled on my arm so hard that I flew back into his chest and knocked the wind out of me. I gulped for air, "I was going to get me something to drink."

His eyes turned cold, "You weren't going to ask me if I wanted something?" My eyes widen at the look in his blue eyes. They were so cold and dark; I had never seen them like this before. "I'm sorry dear, would you like," but before I could finish, he slapped me. I automatically raised my hand to my cheek to cover what he just hit.

"You are going to listen to me right now." He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the kitchen. "You will do as I say. You will ask me if I want what you are about to get, make, or anything. Do you understand me?" I was still stunned, by what just happened, I nodded. "If not, I will smack you around some more. Now before we get to the party I believe we have something to do." I looked up at him and he had the most devilish look on his face. I knew what was about to happen and there was nothing I could do about it. He threw me over his shoulder and took me up the stairs to my bedroom. My last memory of this room, seem like it wouldn't be me in my wedding dress.

The abuse continued and I learned fast on what to avoid so I didn't get hit. After two months of our marriage, Charles got drafted to go to war. I know this might sound horrible but I wished, and prayed that he would not return home. Unfortunate for me, he did return about a year later. The abuse was worse; he took what happened in the war out on me. I would have to make up lies to my father and mother about my bruises and cuts.

In the fall of 1920, I found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell Charles cause I was scared that he would beat me for being so careless. I didn't want to loose my baby because of him.

I tried to think of what to do and I had to do it fast. By the time I had noticed that I was pregnant, I was two months. I knew that woman start showing between three to four months. I had to ask someone or talk to someone about it. I went to my only friend, the only person that really knew what was going on, Rose. One night when Charles passed out on the couch due to the alcohol he consumed I went out to the barn. Rose was kicking her gate as soon as I walked in. I smiled and walked over to her gate. I gave her an apple to calm her. As she ate I pet her neck and reached for her brush and started to clean her coat.

"Oh, Rose we have ourselves in a predicament don't we?" Rose nodded her head. I let out a sigh and continued to brush. I needed to get this out and try to clear my head. "Rose, I need your help. I need to tell someone and you are the only one that I can talk too." Rose dug her hoof at the ground to let me know to continue. "Well, I'm pregnant by that man in the house." I sighed and Rose turned her head to face me. She blew air out as in telling me of her disapproval for him. I continued, "Rose, I don't know what to do. I don't love Charles, I never have really. I'm scared for me, the baby, and you. We can't stay here we need to leave." Rose jumped up enough to tell me that she was ready. I patted her neck to relax her. "We can't go now Rose. I need to think. I need to find somewhere to go first. I'll let you know as soon as I'm ready. It will be very soon though. Be ready when I say go. Okay?" Rose nodded her head and I rubbed her nose.

As I left the barn, for the first time in almost nine years I felt light. Like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I walked in the house quietly and went up the stairs. Charles was snoring on the couch; I knew that I had about couple hours of sleep before he would come up stairs and force himself on me.

I changed into my night gown and crawled under the covers. As I closed my eyes I smelled something familiar but couldn't place it. Suddenly, I remember, Carlisle. I left my eyes closed and inhaled deeply. The strong arms of my dream wrapped around me and then there was a squeezed. I sighed loudly, and opened my eyes. I turned to look behind myself and saw those golden eyes staring back at me. Those eyes seem to sparkle even when it was dark in the room. I sighed and touched that face, so warm and soft. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand.

I cupped my hand around his strong jaw line and leaned in to kiss his lips. He leaned back as I moved in. I stopped to figure out why he wouldn't kiss me and saw that breath taking smile again. He moved his arms up so that his hands were on either side of my face. I looked into his eyes and he moved in towards me and lightly touched my lips with his and whispered, "I'll see you soon."

The next thing I noticed was a rough push and I felt pain. He was pulling on my hair and screaming at me to wake up. I finally wake up enough to his satisfaction and let me do what he was going to do to me. I laid there and thought about my dream while he beat me and violated me. All I could think was the comment, 'I'll see you soon.' Was my brain telling me to leave? Was it telling me to look for him? I decided that I needed to find him. If I couldn't find him, I at least needed to run away from this place, from my home so that my son and I can survive.


	5. Nightmare

It was a warm sunny day. I was sitting in the swing on my porch enjoying the sunny beating down on my face. There was a slight breeze coming from the east. It blew around the smell of fresh cut grass and hay.

My eyes were closed and just enjoying the sensation of everything around me. I inhaled deeply to pull in the smell again when I noticed a difference. The smell of something familiar, I continued to think of what it was when I felt a hand touch my arm. I tensed, thinking it was Charles, but then I felt my hair being brushed off my shoulder. A whisper came to my ear, "Open your eyes Esme." I obliged to the request but I didn't see anything, I turn to my right where the whisper came from and my breath caught in my throat. There he was the man that I have wanted for so long. His blonde hair was like silk, shinny from the golden sun. He had his breath taken smile that made the lines on his face dance. Finally I looked into those golden eyes that sparkled either due to his smile or the sun.

I reached up to touch his face, to see if he was really real. When my hand touched his face, he sighed as well as I. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand, as he slowly backed his head he kissed my palm. Those soft, warm lips were always so gently. His eyes came back up to mine and I smiled at how happy they were.

He reached up and grabbed my hand, his voice came out strong, "Come on, let's go." I stared at him trying to figure out what he was saying. "What are you talking about?" I choked out. "Charles will see us. I can't go anywhere," I mumbled to him. He smiled and said again, "Come on, let's go." I still sat there, looking at him. He stood up and pulled on my hand so that I stood up and landed hard against his body. I sighed when I hit, it was a very soft and seasonal motion. He leaned in and kissed my cheek and then my hand, "Come on, let's go."

This time I didn't fight him. I would go where ever he told me. I would follow him to the gates of hell. He led me down the stairs to this beautiful horse drawn carriage, with four white Camarillo horses. My jaw must have been hanging up because I heard him chuckling. I looked over at his beautiful smile and closed my mouth to give him a sheepish smile.

He helped me into the carriage and then he came into the cab with me. We were on the move now. He reached over and pulled me into his lap. He locked his arms around me and I did the same around his neck. He nuzzled his head in the space between my shoulder and neck, and kissed it gently. I shock in contentment that I was in his arms and he was there with me.

His kisses trailed up my neck, to my ear where he blew around it very lightly. "I'll show you how a man treats a lady," he cooed in my ear. I shock again not only because what he said but because I was getting aroused by just him being here with me. I sighed and closed my eyes.

The next thing I knew he was carrying me to a large house. The doors seem to open for him. I looked up at him, I wanted to know where we were but he answered my question, "We are home, Esme." He smiled but this smile was bigger than I have ever seen. I nodded and whispered, "That sounds so nice." He pulled me closer to him and brought my face up to his so that he could kiss me. This kiss was more intense than he normally ever did. I took full advantage of it. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepen the kiss. I sighed against his lips, which he did in response.

The kiss had passion and frustration behind it. He started laughing and pushing me away. I was grabbing at everything that I could, but I couldn't hold on. He had a hold of both my shoulders. I finally looked up at him, and he had that dreamy smile. "Let's take our time. We have tons of time." My eyebrows frowned, "No we don't. Charles will be looking for me soon." He put his hand on my face and started to rub his thumb on my cheek. "Let's take our time." I relaxed a little but I was still puzzled by his statement.

He sighed and grabbed my hand, dragged me through this huge house to the kitchen. He sat me in a chair and then started to work. He was making me dinner. I asked if he needed my assistance but he continued to work with nothing to say. When he was finally done, he brought me over a plate. It smelled delicious and looked beautiful. I noticed that he didn't have a plate, "you going to eat with me?" He smiled, "No not hungry. Eat; I have much more to show you." I looked at him puzzled and he started to laugh.

After I was finished, he whist me off to his back yard which was covered in apple trees that were in bloom. I gasped at the beauty; he looked over to me smiling. "It's beautiful," I whispered towards him still staring at the flowers. He grabbed my chin and pulled my face towards his. "Not as beautiful as you. Come, I have more for you to see." There in front of us was a small horse drawn carriage. He assisted me into the carriage and then he took the reigns. We rode in the carriage for a long time. I woke up with my head on Carlisle's shoulder with his arm around me. How I could so get use to this feeling and the smell from him was so intoxicating.

I wrapped my arms around him and I heard him chuckle which brought a smile to my face. I looked up and he was staring at me. "Come, more to see," he smiled at me. I looked around and we were on a dock, and there was a beautiful ship right there. I turned back to him with shock and scared. He chuckled and assisted me out of the carriage.

We walked up the dock to the ship. The first person to greet Carlisle told him that the ship was stocked with plenty of food and water. It would be good for at least three months. I looked around and things started to fall into place. That's why he said we had all the time; he was taking me out to sea, where Charles couldn't find me. I smiled to myself at this thought and then I felt arms around my waist. "Are you ready love?" Oh, how I could get use to him calling me love. I nodded my head, afraid to talk. He leaned in a kissed my neck and was gone. I turned around to see where he had gone and he was telling the two men that stayed on the ship what to do. He ran up the stairs to wheel and started to stir it in the direction he wanted. He continued to yell out what was needed next. I watched the men work together and then felt the breeze through my hair.

It felt like we were floating on clouds. The water was so clear I thought that I could see the bottom of the sea floor. I continued to watch ahead and looking at these animals that were jumping up from the water right beside the ship. "Those creatures are so beautiful, but not as beautiful as you with the sun on your skin." I turned to face him and he hit me with a kiss before I could react.

I smiled under the kiss, and he started to pull me into him and making it more intense. I couldn't help myself and I opened my mouth and licked his lip. He growled in his throat and opened his mouth to accept my tongue.

Our kiss became more intensive until we heard someone clear their throat. Carlisle growled again but didn't pull his mouth away from me. He spoke against our wet lips, "Yes Chester, what is it?" Chester cleared his throat again, "Sorry sir, but it looks like a storm to the east. You might want to get inside just in case." Carlisle pulled away and I opened my eyes and looked up to the sky. I saw the dark blue clouds off to the east. Carlisle grabbed my hand, "Come on love, I'll show you to your room." Sadness hit, 'your room', we were not spending the night together. He was a true gentleman, treating me like a lady.

He walked me down the stairs to the lower half of the ship. We continued down the long hallway, hand and hand. He got to the last door, at the end of the hallway. On the front of the door, it said Captain. Of course he will allow me to stay in his room, he will sleep elsewhere. He opened it and I saw a gorgeous bed in front. I looked around and there were two windows, one at the top of the bed and the other to the left side of the room. There was a room off to the right, the door was open just a bit and I saw a mirror on the wall and a curtain; must be the bathroom. He squeezed my hand and I turned to look at him. He pulled me into his arms; he picked me up and carried me to the bed. He gently laid me down on the covers and started to brush my hair away with his hand.

He looked like a god, leaning over me and looking at me with lust, love, courage, in those eyes. "I have to go back up to man the ship. They will bring you food soon. Please eat. I have only one question for you, may I return when the storm has past?" I looked into those golden eyes and my voice and breath caught. He's eyes went to sadness, "I understand," he mumbled and started for the door. "No," I yelled, "wait I mean." He stopped with his hand on the handle of the door. I was grasping for air, "I want you to come back, Please Carlisle, come back to me."

That smile came back to his face. The laugh lines returned and his eyes were sparkling with excitement, "until then my love, my life."

I must have drifted off. I didn't hear the storm, or feel the boat rock. I rolled over and left my eyes closed to trail back to sleep when I felt a hand on my thigh. My heart rate went up in that instant. "Carlisle?" I felt a brush of air across my neck and ear, "Yes my love?" My heart was beating harder now than it ever has. He leaned in and kissed the spot where my shoulder and neck meet and I shivered. I felt his smile against my skin. I sighed and closed my eyes tighter. I have wanted to love him for so long and now here is my chance.

His hand trailed up my body, very light. He went up to my shoulder and went right back down the side of my body. Another shiver escaped me with a sigh from my lips. I felt another smile and another kiss to my spot. His hand came back up to my waist and he grabbed it to pull me into him. I could feel him against me, the heat radiating off of him and it made me start to feel things I never had. I have never experience a sexual relationship where both people were turned on due to each other. My husband just did what he wanted to me and I never experienced release or feel what I was feeling now.

I couldn't help myself; I reached back and grabbed his hip to push him into me more. We both sighed and I couldn't stop myself, I rolled so that I was facing him. He kissed me deeper than he had before. I was lost in his kisses. He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head. He started to trail kisses from my ear down my neck, across my collar bone and then back up my neck to my other ear.

"Esme, I'm going to show you how a woman should be treated if you will allow me. Will you Esme, will you allow me to show you?" He cooed in my ear and then flicked his tongue against my earlobe. I sighed, "Yes Carlisle. Please, show me." He continued his kisses down my neck and to my collar bone and slowly making his way to my breast when I gasped, "Oh Carlisle, I love you."

The next thing I know I felt a sharp pain in my side, and then I saw stars. Before I could realize what was going on, "WHO THE HELL IS CARLISLE?" I tried to open my right eye and couldn't. My left eye focused and I saw Charles naked and on top of me. Oh no, I was dreaming, and I said his name. I tried to speak but Charles covered my mouth. "Well, I'm going to make you wish you never said his name." The next thing I felt was pain and something warm between my legs. I screamed but it was muffled by Charles hand. He continued to hit me and pull on my hair. The last thing I remembered was him whispering in my ear, "I bet that I'm better at it than he is." I felt something hit my head and everything went black.


	6. Matthew

The torture continued for hours until he past out. I laid there with tears rolling down my swollen face. The pain from the beatings was so bad that it hurt to move. I finally was able to slide him off of me and get up.

I went down stairs into the kitchen to try and clean up with the water that I brought in before going to bed. I cleaned my face and took in the damage. My right eye was swollen shut and inflamed. My lips were swollen and bruised. I saw the bruises on my shoulder from his hands. I stopped looking in the window at myself; I was starting to fell sick. All of the sudden I remember my baby.

"Oh no, the baby," and I reached for the nightgown to pull it up. That was when I saw the blood on my legs and my stomach turned. I put my hand on my stomach, skin to skin. I didn't see any bruises and then I felt a twitch from the inside. He was okay, my baby was okay and I sighed in relief.

I looked back up and out the window, straight to the barn. I need to ran, get out of his control, this hell. I need to find him. As if all the signs pointed for me to leave I felt a little guilty. He is my husband and I should stay but I can't take the beatings anymore. Not with my son, that I need to protect and stay alive for him.

I quietly walked up the stairs, trying not to wake Charles up. Went to the closet in our room and grabbed his military bag. I turned to my dresser and started throwing clothes in the bag. The whole time listening for Charles snores.

I headed down the stairs, back to the kitchen, to clean up the blood and change into riding clothes. I'm taking Rose with me. I don't want her to face the wrath of Charles once he knows I'm gone.

I turned and look at my home one last time before I ran out the door and off to my new future. I sighed at the sadness that was starting to sink in. I turned for the door and opened it as quietly as I could. Once out the door, I ran and didn't look back. When I came threw the door of the barn, Rose was going crazy. She was kicking her door and jumping, trying to get out. I saw that Charles had her head strapped to the wall so that she couldn't get away. I went up to her to calm her and saw the key that locked her into place. I unlock the bolt and grabbed the gear to get her ready for the ride.

I was going as fast as I could to get away when the barn door opened. I ducked down behind the stall's door. "I know you are in here Esme. I saw you running across the yard." My heart was in my throat, what should I do? While I was crutched down trying to figure out what to do, Charles leaned over the door. "Found you! You think that you're going to leave without me noticing? I don't think so." He grabbed a hand full of my hair and made me stand up. Rose was jumping around in the stall, upset over what was happening.

I was screaming from the pain. I looked around and saw that Rose had all of her gear off now since she was jumping around so much. I started to have ideas of how to get out of here. Charles started to hit me again. I noticed that I could raise my foot and kick hard I would take him to his knees, but I wouldn't have enough time to get Rose's gear on. I would have to ride her bare. He continued to punch me and yell at me for even thinking of leaving. My mind and body moved without me even thinking. I kicked so hard that when I hit him in between his legs my foot hurt from the impact.

Charles gasped and fell to the floor, grabbing himself. I jumped up and ran to Rose; I left the door open so that we could escape easily. I threw the bags strap over my shoulder and climbed up on Rose, she took off as soon as I had her hair in my hands. I could hear Charles yelling, calling me names that I don't dare repeat. I heard one last statement, "Don't you dare come back." I whispered to Rose, "We won't" as I reached for my belly and I felt another twitch.

I don't know how many days had past. We were going west and hoping that something would point me to Dr. Cullen but nothing was showing up. Every night I had dreams of him and of us together in my happily ever after. We finally reached the border of Wisconsin, or what I believed to be it. We continued to push forward until we came to Madison. The town was beautiful and the people were very friendly to me. I patted Rose and whispered, "I like it here what you think?" Rose nodded her head in contentment. We came to a little motel; I got off Rose's back and walked in. The gentleman behind the counter was very nice and told me there was a room available.

"Thank you sir, I really like this town. Do you know if there are any jobs available?" He looked at me with curious eyes. "Well, I heard that they are looking for another teacher at the school a little farther in town. Is your husband looking for a job also?" I looked away from his eyes and down at my feet, "No sir, not married. So where is the school at?" He gave me directions and wished me luck. I went out and told Rose to stay and rest. I walked in the direction that the nice gentlemen told me.

I came to the school and walked in the main doors. I followed the signs to the administers office. When I arrived there, the lady behind the desk smiled as I shut the door. I was so happy that my bruises had faded a couple of days ago. "Good day ma'am. May I help you," she said in a very petite voice. I smiled and replied, "Yes, the nice gentleman that the motel told me that you are looking for a new teacher. I'm new to the area and I love this town. I would love to offer my service," I smiled again. She nodded and handed me a paper. "Please fill this out and I'll go and get the principle." She got up from the desk and went towards the door to my right. That must be the office to the principle.

I turned my attention to the piece of paper that she had given me. I filled it out the best I could. I didn't have a current address. I heard the door open to my right and I saw the lady returned with a gentleman that smiled, "Ms, I'm Mr. Smith. I'm the principle of the school. Mrs. Greene tells me that you are interested in the teaching job?" I nodded and stood up, "Thank you Mr. Smith for meeting with me. My name is Esme Platt." I extended my hand to shake his, he did the same. "Please Ms. Platt, follow me into my office."

I followed him into his office and his secretary closed the door behind us. He extended his hand towards the chair in front of his desk. "Please Ms. Platt, have a seat." I sat down, happy that I wasn't covered in dust from the ride. It had rained the other day so that roads were still wet enough not to cover me.

"So Ms. Platt; is there a Mr. Platt?" I shook my head no and he smiled. "Okay, so you're not from here. What brought you to Madison?" I explained that I was bored of Ohio and wanted to venture out and I came across the town and really like the friendly people. I decided that this was where I wanted to be. He nodded with a huge smile on his face. He explained to me the job that they had available and that it had been empty for a while. "I had to put these children in classes that were already full. I would love to get the classes back to a normal size and I'm sure that the other teachers would love that to. How do you think you can handle 9-10 year olds?"

I loved children so much I would do anything to help him. "I would love it. I do have to tell you one thing; I'm pregnant so I'll need time off when I have him." He had a puzzled look on his face, "You said you were not married." I held my breath trying to figure out what to say. He noticed my reluctance and smiled, "I'm sorry. It's not any business of mine. We will handle that when it happens. Would you like the job, Ms. Platt?" I sighed and nodded my head with a huge grin on my face. Mr. Smith stood extending this hand out, "Welcome Ms. Platt. Have Mrs. Greene give you the policies and we will see Monday morning."

I smiled, stood up and shook his hand again then turned to walk out the door. "Ms. Platt, I hope that he will not find you. If he does come looking for you, let me know. The chief of police is my brother. We will protect you." I turned to look at him, trying to figure out how he knew. He smiled and nodded for me to go ahead. I smiled back at him with tears in my eyes. "Thank you, Mr. Smith. Thank you so much."

When I got outside the door to his office, I felt the tears fall down my face. I took my sleeve and wiped it away. Mrs. Greene looked at me with worry in her eyes. "Mr. Smith wanted you to give me the policies." She smiled and turned to a cabinet behind her. She had a packet that she gave to me. "Everything is in there that you will need. I'm so happy for you. Wish you the best of luck." I nodded and said my thanks and left the office. Once I was out the door, tears started to fall heavy. I don't know how I made it back to the motel but I did.

I walked in to the motel after talking to Rose and letting her know that things will be okay. The gentleman behind the counter looked up at me. "Excuse me miss. You never told me your name. I saved the room for you in hopes you came back." I had forgot to tell him that, how silly of me. "Thank you so much. I'm sorry my name is Esme Platt." He wrote it down and gave me a key, "Thank you Ms. Platt. Do you know how long you will be staying?" I looked at the key and then back to him, "No I don't. I start at the school on Monday." He smiled at me, "That's great. I'm sure they are happy about that. If you need anything, my name is William. I'm here most of the time but if I'm not here my wife is, her name is Elisabeth." I nodded and started to take my bag up the stairs. I stopped and turned back to William, "William, I do have one question. Do you have a Dr. Cullen here?" William looked up from his papers, "No ma'am. Not to my knowledge." I nodded and walked up the stairs to my room, 612.

Some more time went by, and I loved the classroom and the children. They seem to love me in return. I was really finding my calling and I was starting to show my pregnancy. I went to the hospital a couple of times to make sure everything were going well. They told me that everything was measuring perfectly and that I should be having him around June, which was good I wouldn't miss too much school. The months started moving faster and the children love to fell the Matthew move around. Yes, I had named him already; my health baby boy, Matthew.

June was here and I was getting excited. I had a nice little house now. William sold it to me, since him and his wife were spending more time in the motel. It was close to the school so it was easy for me to walk since I couldn't ride right now, to hard to get up on Rose. As I was out for my daily walk on a nice cool night, I felt water running down my leg. I screamed and people came running, "Ms. Platt you okay," asked Brent from the ice cream shop. "I think my water broke, I need to get to the hospital."

"I'll take her," a booming voice who I knew to be Jack, chief of police. "Come on Ms. Platt. My cruiser is over here." I nodded. I had never ridden in a vehicle beside when my leg broke at sixteen. Dr. Cullen flashed back into my mind. How I wished that he was here right now, to take care of me. As Jack helped me into the car, he shut the door and ran to the other side. We were at the hospital in a matter of minutes. He helped me out of the car and threw the doors open and yelling that he needed help. "This is Esme Platt, she is eight months pregnant and her water just broke," Jack blurted out. "Okay Jack, we will take it from here." Two young ladies helped me to a bed and covered me up.

"Hello Ms. Platt, I'm Kathryn and I'm your nurse. Are you having any pain?" I nodded. "Show me where it is." I rubbed my belly and started to cry. "It's alright Ms. Platt," she cooed and pushed my hair back out of my eyes. She looked at the other lady, "Go tell Dr. Peters that we have a pregnant patient that is going to deliverer in about an hour." The other lady nodded and took off. "Ms. Platt, Susan is going to go get Dr. Peters. Is there anyone that we need to find for you?" I shook my head no. "Okay then we are going to get you into a room and try to get you as comfortable as possible."

I felt the bed moving but I was in so much pain that I didn't notice where I was. After about three hours of labor, I finally had Matthew but something was wrong. He wasn't crying and the nurses were swarming him trying to figure out what was wrong. I was crying for them to tell me what's wrong. "Esme, please lets focus on you and then we will find out what's wrong," Kathryn cooed in my ear. Dr. Peters was working fast because the nurses needed him for Matthew. Kathryn started to talk again, "What are you going to name him?" I turned my head to her, "Edward Matthew Platt, but I'm going to call him Matthew." I turned back to the little bed beside me when I heard a faint cry. Dr. Peters was still working on him and he turned his eyes to me.

"I'm sorry Esme, this is not good news." I hold my breath. "Your son has an infection that is in his lungs. He is gasping for air now. I have a tube in his mouth that allows us to help him breath but it won't last long. I'm so sorry." I started to scream and cry into Kathryn's embrace. Everything that I had lived for, the reason for leaving Charles is not going to survive like I hoped. "I'm so sorry Esme. You can hold him as much as you want. I'm truly and deeply sorry." He turned and walked out of the room with his head down. I was crying so hard that I didn't hear Jack, William, and Elisabeth.

Elisabeth came to my side and rubbing my arms and my forehead. I had become such good friends with her and her husband. "He's going to die Elisa, Matthew is going to die." I cried even harder now that I said it, it became more true. I threw my arms around Elisabeth's shoulders, which she started to cry.

*Sorry I had to do the Edward thing. I figured it was fitting since Edward is her first son. Please comment and let me know what you think of the story line. Good, bad, indifferent, which ever, Thanks for all the comments! *


	7. New Life

_***WARNING!!! Sorry this is a depressing chapter. I will say this; I do not take suicide as a joking matter. Unfortunately since that is what Esme did I had to put it in. This chapter is very dark and if you want to skip it I understand. The next chapter will have a recap in it. ***_

School was getting ready to start but I was still depressed. I couldn't find any reason to live. I was hoping that when school starts that I'll be better. I continued to work on new school lessons for the children. Elisabeth and William came over about every other day to make sure that I ate and that I cleaned myself. Elisabeth stayed with me a couple of times so that I had someone there at night. I was starting to have nightmares, of Charles coming back to find me and torture me again.

School started and my hopes of feeling better faded away. I started the class off good but then about a week into it I started to fall apart in class. Fellow teachers were concerned and told Mr. Smith to check on me. When the children were outside, he came into my classroom and I was in a ball in the corner of the room sobbing. He came over and helped me up and assisted me to his office.

He sat me in one of the chairs and than sat in the seat beside it. "Esme, please you need to go home. You can't teach like this. Take so more time off. Everyone understands that you would need time. We will find someone to cover your classes. Do you want me to get a hold of Jack to take you home?" I shook my head no and continued to sob. "Please Esme, go home and get your rest. Take as much time as you need. You come to me when you are ready okay?" I nodded my head to let him know that I understood. "Sit here as long as you need. I'm going to go and see if I can find someone to cover your class." With that he got up, squeezed my shoulder and left the room with a soft latch of the door.

I looked up and out the window; the sun was casting an orange tent over the city. I needed to get out and walk. Walk until I couldn't walk anymore. I needed to clear my head. I got up from the chair and walked over to the window to see where to go. I saw Lake Mendota off to the east. I saw the cliff that hung over the water, I sighed. That's where I need to go to think things through.

I turned and walked out Mr. Smith's office door and Bertha said for me to rest and get better. I nodded and continued out the door. I walked toward the lake. I past several people who now just look at me and then whisper as I walk by. What a way to make a girl subconscious.

I continued my way to the lake and past by a couple of docks until I say the trail that said, 'Switchback Trail'. I sighed and continued the path I was taking. There were a lot of ups and downs on the trail, not just from me. I had to stop a few times to catch my breath or I was crying so hard that I couldn't see where I was going. I arrived to the top of the peak and stopped to take in the site. It was beautiful, the orange was becoming brighter. Sunset was a beautiful part of the day. I decided to move closer to the edge to look over. I looked down and the water seemed so far away. I sat down so that I didn't loose my footing and looked out over the water.

I saw some boats out; fishing was good in this lake. I looked over the trees trying to picture a better life. Trying to tell myself that I should have stayed with Charles and I would have someone with me right now. I continued to take in this new information but then the pictures of my bruises from me looking in the window to the words that came out of his mouth as I was leaving. I started to realize how crazy I was right now. I was thinking about going back to the man that tortured me and wanted me dead.

Dead, maybe that's the route I should take. I can't find my man in shinning armor like I thought that I would. No one was coming to rescue me like I thought he would. He should have rescued me. He should have taken me with him when I was sixteen. He must be married, why else would he not have been there with me or taken me with him.

I sighed and started to look down again at the water. It had a dark blue tent to it but I saw right under the cliff there was sand. I saw a couple of rock down below too. I don't think I would be missed if I just end my life right here, right now. I looked deeper into the water, wishing that Dr. Cullen would come and sweep in and save me. My dreams that I had of him were trailing in my mind. The kisses, the hugs, they seemed so real like he was really there. I ran my fingers through my hair and played with on of my curls. How I wished he was here, right now watching the sunset with me.

I looked across the lake again and saw the boats started to come in. I guess it was time to go home to a cold house, all alone. I started to cry again. What am I going to do? I really have nothing to live for. That's when my mind started flashing pictures of me jumping off the cliff and dying at the end. Then saw my Matthew and me with the angels. I sighed at the thought of being able to hold him again. I had to do it; I needed to be with the people I loved.

I took my shoes and hose off of my feet. I wanted to feel the ground under my feet. I stood up and moved to the edge of the cliff. I stood there looking below and knowing that in a few moments I will be with my son again. Matthew, my little angel will be in my arms again. He is the only reason for living and he was taken from me. I need to be with him since I can't be with anyone here.

I looked up to the sky and put my arms out like I was about to dive into the water. I closed my eyes and said a little pray under my breath. I heard someone yell but I wasn't paying any attention to that right now. I wanted to be with my angel again. A breeze came by me and I could have sworn I heard Carlisle's voice, "Be happy, love." I smiled at the thought of him. The last thing I'm going to remember is my son and him. What a better way to end my life.

I took a step off the cliff and I felt myself fall. The wind took my hair up above to touch the sky. With my eyes still close, Carlisle's face and Matthew's face came into picture. Carlisle was holding Matthew and they were both smiling at me. Then everything went black.

I felt burning, like I was on fire. I couldn't figure out why. I couldn't move my arm, and the burning wouldn't stop. I tried to scream but I didn't hear anything. I started to think to my memories but nothing was there. Where am I? Why can't I remember anything? I started to get scared and I wanted to run but couldn't. I slipped back into the unconscious.

I woke up again but still unable to move. The burning was still there but started to move up my body. My heart was racing; it felt like it was going to come threw my chest. I felt something touch me. I couldn't more to react against it. I heard a sigh from the same area where the touch was.

"Carlisle, are you sure about this? Are you sure that she will make it," said a voice to my left. My heart was pounding even harder; I'm surprised that I could hear anything. "Yes Edward. The transformation is almost complete. Her spinal cord seems to be intact now. Her flex motors seem to be working and intact," said the other voice that was to my right where the sigh came from. Carlisle, why does that name sound familiar? Memories came back to me but they were fuzzy, Dr. Carlisle Cullen the handsome doctor that fixed my leg. What is he doing here? Where am I? What are they talking about? Edward, that name sounded familiar too. I got another memory, my pregnancy and talking to my belly calling it Edward Matthew Platt. My son was there too. My heart was pounding so hard now I thought that it will come threw my chest then all of a sudden it stopped.

My eyes flew open and I saw the light above me. I took a breath in and I smelled two strangers. I growled and jumped off the table and up against the wall. How did I do that? Why am I crutching? Who are these people? What have they done to me?

I looked around the room and saw two men. The one with messy bronze hair and golden eyes, glared at me with a low growl coming from his lips. He was standing in front of the other man, like he was protecting him. All I saw at first was his blonde hair, then the smile that seems to remind me of something. I looked at his face and the smile got bigger and his eyes were sparkling like they had tears in them. I crutched down farther when he took a step forward. How am I doing that? I didn't even think that I should be crutching and I am.

I looked at myself trying to figure out what is going on when I saw movement again. I looked up and the blonde man was standing a few feet back with his hand up. Showing me that he wasn't going to attack or hurt me. I looked into his eyes again thinking that there was something familiar about them. When he smiled at me again the eyes twinkled again.

"Please Esme, hear me out. I know you are confused and disoriented but we have time to explain. I know you remember me. I see it in your eyes." I stared at him some more and I saw the uneasiness of his companion in the corner. "Yes Esme, I am uneasy," he shouted at me. I growled and mumble, "How did you..." and my question trailed away. My voice was like wind chimes, it was never like that before. "Please Esme, think back. Do you remember me?" I looked back to this beautiful creature standing in front of me and I thought long and hard.

Suddenly it all came back to me. I jumped up and ran into his arms and squeezed him tightly. I heard him whisper, "Easy love. You are hurting me." I let go and took a couple of steps back. The blonde chuckled and I saw his companion relax a little, "She remembers you."

I returned my attention back to the blonde gentleman standing in front of me, "Carlisle, what are you doing here? Where are we? How am I alive?"


	8. Story

**A/N: So sorry everyone, it's been awhile. I have had a house full of sickness. Between my son, husband and myself I have spent money on tissues and medicine. *laughs* Anyway, this is the next chapter that explains Esme's change. Of course I'm not going to go into details on the history of Carlisle and Edwards change. Enjoy! Please review if you have time!! Thanks!**

After what seemed like hours of Carlisle standing there looking at me in disbelieve, he spoke. "Are you hungry?" I looked at him confused by the statement until the burning in my throat made me scream. My hands went up to my throat, started gasping for air. I fall to my hands and knees screaming, "What is wrong? My throat is burning. What is going on Carlisle?" I crawled towards him and grabbed his pants, "Please, tell me Carlisle. Help me!" I was crying at this point due to the pain and burning in my throat but I didn't feel the tears.

Carlisle reached down and grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up to him. "Come dear. I have lots to explain. First though, you need to feed. You have to listen to me and not think twice. Just do what your body is telling you. Do you understand Esme?" I nodded with pain in my eyes. "Okay, now close your eyes. Tell me what you sense, that you need. Don't get upset with what it is." I did as he said and inhaled deeply. The voice that I still wasn't use to spoke from my lips, "I don't know, I feel thirsty for something. I can't place what it is." I heard the other companion of Carlisle's move and speak, "You are carving blood Esme. You need to feed. Do not think twice; just go with your instincts"

My eyes shot open and I looked right into Carlisle's eyes. "Blood," I spoke with horror and shock. He nodded and smiled, "I know you don't understand. I promise I will explain but please we need to take care of the pain you are having. Edward, let's take her hunting." I turned and looked at his companion. His name was Edward just like my son, and then he spoke. "Esme, I know about your son and what you are thinking. I'm not your son. Nor will I be, so please don't put me in his place." I stared at him trying to figure out how he knew what I was thinking and again before I could ask he replied. "I can read minds Esme. I can hear every thought that goes throw your mind or anyone around the area." I looked over at Carlisle, then back to Edward. I thought that it must be horrible to hear everyone's thoughts. Edward laughed and for the first time, looked me directly in the eyes. He had the same butterscotch colored eyes that Carlisle has. "Yes, it is horrible to hear all those thoughts but it's useful too. Now, we will explain more, after you eat." He turned and was gone.

I heard a chuckle beside me and I realized that my mouth was slightly ajar. I snapped it shut and looked at Carlisle. His eyes met mine and I melted like I did over six years ago. He smiled that breath taking smile and whispered, "Let's go and get rid of that pain." He leaned in and kissed my cheek. These lips were so warm and soft, just as I always thought. I heard Edward yell, "Oh come on. Let's go!" Carlisle grabbed my hand and the next thing I knew we were at the bottom of a huge stair case. I looked back up the stairs, confused. I felt a squeeze on my hand and a chuckle. I looked over at Carlisle, who had a wide grin on his face which reached his eyes. I smiled back at him, happy to have my hand in his. Then we were gone, out into the woods.

I let my instincts take over like they told me and I didn't fight it. Once we arrived back to the house I mumbled, "Please tell me what is going on. How come I have the need to have blood? Did I really just attack a deer and kill it? Why am I moving before I even think to do it?" I started to shake and felt like I was hyperventilating. Carlisle wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to what looked like a living room. He put me into a chair and then he sat down, facing me, on the lower table that was right in front of me.

He looked over his shoulder at Edward. My eyes looked over at Edward. I saw him nod and leave the room. Carlisle must have told him to leave. I returned my eyes to Carlisle, who reached for my hands and whispered, "I asked Edward to leave so that I can make you more comfortable. As you know, he will still hear the conversation." He paused and then looked into my eyes again, I gasped at the pain in his eyes. I took my hand out of his and touched his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. "What is wrong Carlisle? You look like you are hurting."

His eyes opened and for the first time I could tell it was over me. "What do you remember," he whispered. I looked at him confused, trying to figure out what he was talking about. "What do you remember about your accident?" Then I realized where he was going with this.

"Oh, um...I remember losing Matthew. I was so sad that I couldn't function anymore. I went to Lake Mendota, up Switchback Trail, to the cliff to clear my head. I sat up there on the ledge, thinking about everything again. About Charles and Matthew, all the pain, suffering, horror, I couldn't handle it anymore. I looked below and saw the rocks and the water. I felt that I needed to leave and be with Matthew again. I couldn't go home, Charles would kill me. I couldn't find you," I stopped and looked down at my hand in his. I felt like I should be crying but no tears were falling. Carlisle hands moved and I felt his hand under my chin.

I looked up into his eyes and they were dark, like that day in the hospital a long time ago. He leaned in and kissed my lips before I could do anything. He was so soft and gentle at first, but then the hunger kicked in. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his other arm around me to hold me in place. His other hand cupped my face and then moved around the back of my neck to force me into a deeper kiss. I felt his tongue slide across my lip and I sighed at the contact. He moved his tongue in and softly rolled it around mine.

He broke the kiss after what could have been a century but I didn't want it to stop. I have waited so long for that kiss, for him. I wrapped my arms around him and went in for more but he turned his head and started laughing. "Esme please let me tell you the parts you're missing. Let me explain what you are, what we are." He moved me back into the chair and stood up. He walked over to the fireplace that I just noticed was there.

He let out a gust of air, looking at a painting that was above the mantle. "Esme, what happened to you in the past was horrible. I should have stayed and got you out of that horrible monster's arms but due to what I am, I couldn't be with you." He turned and looked at me, "Esme when you jumped a boater saw you. He rescued you from the water. When they got you to the hospital, I was there, in the emergency room. I couldn't believe it was you, you were there. I wasn't the doctor treating you but when I heard him say you were dead. I couldn't breath. I tried to tell the doctor that your heart was still beating but he didn't listen. So I followed you down to the morgue. I came to your side and listened closer, I could still hear it beating. It was faint, but still there."

He closed his eyes trying to hide the pain from me. He opened them but he didn't look at me. He crossed the room to the chair on the other side of the table. He looked at his hands and continued, "I decided that I would try to help you. Save you, which I was probably doing for my own selfishness reasons." He snickered at himself for that comment. He continued to look down at his hands, "I brought you home to change you." Then those eyes came up to mine. "I brought you home to change you into what I am. I'm a vampire Esme. You are a vampire."

I sat there in bewilderment. What was he talking about? Vampire, there is no such thing. I started to run through the stories that I had heard. The books that I heard of and then I noticed that Carlisle had moved. He was standing in front of the portrait again, staring up at it. I followed his gaze and gasped, "That's you, but who are." My question trailed off when he looked back at me.

"Esme, there is so much to tell you I don't know where to begin," he whispered. He was looking at me with torment in his eyes. He was scared of what I would do, or say to him. He was scared that I was afraid of him, afraid of what he was. What I am.

I wanted to be near him and show him that I was not scared. The next thing I knew I was there beside him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he did the same, "start from the beginning Carlisle. Tell me everything," I cooed at him. He kissed my forehead and moved me towards the chairs again. He sat down and pulled me into his lap.

"Okay, the beginning," he sighed. Kissing my hand he spoke softly, "Edward should be back before I'm done so he can explain his beginning." I nodded and he began from the beginning. The story that everyone should hear; beginning of a great man, a great creature, and my future love.


	9. Become One

It has been about a month after my change. I have come to understand what we are and what we can do. My eyes were starting to become a dark caramel color. Carlisle said about another month and they will be the same color as his.

Carlisle and I have become close but he is still keeping his distance. He is letting me have time, due to the change and the death of my son. Edward has been very helpful and has let me talk to him. He is very brilliant, and has only a year on me. He had told me the story of Carlisle saving him. I understood now that Carlisle does, he likes to help. With both Edward and I, he was saving us from death.

Few more months had gone by and my eyes were now the butterscotch color like Carlisle and Edward. My mother instincts were still intact and Edward was finding that out. Even though he was older than me, but in public eye he was seventeen.

People in town didn't know that I was still alive. Carlisle made sure that they still buried me but that meant I couldn't go out in public. I was getting bored at home since both Carlisle and Edward worked at the hospital. Carlisle and Edward had talked and decided to move to South America to help with treatments in the area. I agreed to go with them in hopes of being able to be out and do things while they are helping people.

A few months had gone by and we were on our way to South America. While we were there we met a coven of vampires. Zafrina, Kachiri, and Senna were from the town that we were helping. Of course we noticed their presence. Edward was afraid that they would attack us but when he started to read their minds they were intrigued. Zafrina had ability too; she would make images in your mind that made you feel like you were there. Which left you blind to what they were about to do to you.

We all become good friends. They were thankful that we were helping their people, even though they fed off of them. They showed us around and we explained to them our way of life. They found it fascinating that we only fed off of animals. They actually followed us hunting a couple of times and tried it, they didn't like the taste.

We lived in South America, moving around the area, for about 10 years. I told Carlisle I was ready to go back home. He smiled and agreed. Edward decided that he wanted some time alone but he would stay in contact with us. Carlisle and I voiced our concerns but he smiled and said, "You two need some time alone."

We moved to New York, to a town called Rochester. It was a beautiful town, with a hospital that needed a great doctor. I was still trying to find my own path. Carlisle said I had a talent in design. He loved the colors that I put in the house, around his office. I decided that I would start helping others with making their homes beautiful. I opened a little shop in town that sold fabric and design guides that I wrote up. I enjoyed it and I was always able to be home before Carlisle.

One evening, Carlisle came home early. He came to my side and whispered in my ear, "How was your day love," like always. Today I had exciting news, "We got a letter from Edward today. He says that he is in London and he is thinking next year he will be home." I turned to look at Carlisle to see how happy he would be but he wasn't. "What's wrong love," I cooed as I rubbed my thumb across his cheek. He smiled and said, "oh nothing. I was just planning something. I guess it will happen a little faster than I wanted." He turned and was gone from my arms. Before I could follow, he was back with something in his hand. It was a blanket and basket. I looked at him baffled and he smiled, grabbed my hand, and we were out the door.

I noticed that we were running towards our spot. It was a spot that Carlisle found when he was hunting one time and he took me there for us to have some quiet time. I grinned because I always loved to go there. We would lay in each others arms and talk, kiss, and just be near each other without others looking. We could be ourselves, without hiding.

We got to the small lake and he laid the blanket out under a maple tree. It was a beautiful day with slight cloud cover, but we were in our place so the sun didn't matter. I watched Carlisle work with the sun hitting his perfect skin. The sparkle that radiated off of him was so gorgeous and breathe taking.

He sat down and looked up at me with a pat at the ground beside him. I smiled and sat down beside him with a kiss on his cheek. We both looked out over the water, taking in the feel of everything around us. I put my head on his shoulder and he sighed. "Dear I need to talk to you." I ran my fingers over his arm and whispered, "What is it, love?"

The movement happened so fast that my breath hitched in my throat. Even though we didn't have to breathe we made it a force of habit with us living among humans. Carlisle had me pinned to the ground. His eyes were dark, full of pain, lust, and love. I have seen them like this several times when we would come out here but this time it was different. He kissed me with force while his body pressed up against me. I moaned at the contact of our bodies which made him growl deep in his chest. There was more hunger behind his kiss, until he finally broke the kiss and started to kiss my neck. I was gasping for air due to my arousal. I could feel his arousal against my thigh. I growled and rolled us so that I was straddling him.

He chuckled and continued to kiss me. What is going on? He has never been like this. There was urgency in his touch, to his kisses. I broke away from his kisses, "What is wrong Carlisle?" His eyes were still as dark as before, which mine were the same. He pulled himself up and grabbed my waist so that I didn't move. I felt his arousal against my middle and growled at how it felt, so good. I closed my eyes to focus at the task, what is wrong.

I opened my eyes and he was grinning from ear to ear. "How long have we been with each other," he cooed. I smiled and whispered back to him, "ten wonderful years of my eternal life and hopefully many more." I reached up and started to run my fingers through his hair. He purred low in his chest and I laughed. He was losing his train of thought. He grabbed my hands and pulled them in front of me. "Please Esme, let me talk to you."

My smile faded, I started to worry were this was going. Was he not happy with me? I felt panic hit me. I haven't felt that since I was with Charles. Carlisle most have noticed and started to rub my face. "Love, don't worry. Please let me talk." I nodded and let him continue.

"We have been together, as husband and wife for ten years but we have never completed the task of actually being husband and wife." I looked at him stunned, was he asking me and then he pulled out a box. I sat there speechless. He opened the box and my eyes looked down at a ring and a bracelet. They were beautiful, emerald green stone with a crest on top of the stone. I looked up into Carlisle eyes trying to figure out what this meant. He smiled, looked down at the box, and continued.

"Due to us being undercover I thought that this might be a better way of showing our love. I designed this family crest for our family; Edward, you, and I. The hand stands for our faith, for each other. The lion stands for our courage to be different from the others. The chevron means protection for our family and the shamrocks mean eternity." He looked up at me now with a smirk. "The bracelet is for you, if you would say that you will be my wife in the eyes of the lord and church."

I was staring still into his eyes. He just asked me to be his wife. No pretending, no show, he was asking me to really become his wife. I don't know how long I sat there with my own conversation in my head until his growled and mumbled at how he wished Edward was here. I laughed and threw my arms around his neck which made him fall back into the ground. I kissed him deeply and mumbled against his lips, "Yes! YES! Of course I'll marry you!" He chuckled and kissed me back and rolled us over so that I was on my back.

He pulled away from me and stood up. I laid there confused until he put his hand out to help me up. "Come on then dear. Let's go get married." Still confused I took his hand and we were gone. He took us back to the house and told me to wear whatever I wanted and that he will wait for me downstairs.

I came back down stairs with in a few seconds with a medium blue slim fitting dress on. I had just made it a few days ago. He sighed when my hand touched his, "you look stunning." He leaned in and kissed my lips so gently. I smiled and said, "So do you." He was wearing a black suit with no tie. He smiled and put my hand around his forearm and said, "Come, they are waiting for us." I looked at him bewildered and he just laughed and we were gone.

We arrived at a small church outside of town. I remember this church; Carlisle had said that he helped the minister in the emergency room. He was so thankful that he told Carlisle if he needed anything to let him know. I chuckled and said to Carlisle, "this is what you are going to ask of him?" He smiled and knocked on the door of the house beside the church. An older man answered the door and smiled wide when he saw Carlisle.

"Dr. Cullen, and what do I owe the pleasure?" He motioned us in the home. Carlisle pulled me into the home. I took one last breath of air before the father closed the door behind us. "Father Johnson, I'm sorry for this intrusion but I need to ask for my favor." The father nodded his head and motioned for us to come in and sit down.

Carlisle moved me to the seat and I sat down with him beside me. The father poured us some water and moved to have a seat in the chair across from us. "There is no intrusion Dr. Cullen. What do you need from me?" Carlisle turned his head and looked at me with a squeeze of the hand and a smile and turned back to the father. "Father Johnson, I came here to ask you to marry Esme and myself." The father smiled and nodded his head and then Carlisle continued, "Today, please." The father choked on his water and looked puzzled.

"Why in such a hurry? You should take some time. Besides you have to get the paperwork." Before he could finish, Carlisle pulled a large envelope from his pocket, "everything that you need is in there." He slid it across the table and smiled at the father. Father Johnson reached down and picked up the enveloped and pulled the papers out. He looked through them and nodded his head. "I see," he managed to say after a while.

"Are you sure Dr. Cullen? Don't you have family you both want to invite? Don't you want to have a normal wedding?" The father looked directly at me. I knew that I would have to talk and I was still having some hard time around humans. I decided to take the chance, "Father Johnson, I don't have any family. They all died when I was young. Carlisle is all I have." I had used up all my air now so I sat there trying not to breathe in but the need to do so, made me. The burning hit me hard but Carlisle squeezed my hand to reassure me that I could do this. I smiled which I knew he saw even though he was still staring at the father.

Father Johnson was still looking at me and then sighed, "Okay, let me go and get my stuff. Meet me over in the chapel. I'll get one of the nuns and one of my brothers to stand witness." We all stood and Carlisle shock Father Johnson's hand and we walked human pace out the door.

By twilight I was finally married to the man that I had dream of for sixteen years. When we kissed to seal our marriage it was like we had never kissed before. There was electricity in our bodies, wanting to be released. I finally had him, heart, mind, and soul. I had his love, his compassion, and his body. I couldn't be happier than I was right now.

We left the church and walked to the woods where we run back to our spot. The stars were out which added to the romance that we were both feeling. Carlisle picked me up and carried me over to the blanket and laid me down. He lay down beside me, never taking his eyes off of mine. He whispered, "You are so beautiful!" I smiled and took my hand and rubbed his cheek which he closed his eyes and purred. I chuckled at the sound, when his eyes opened and I saw the darkness of them again. I knew that tonight, we would become one.

He leaned over me and kissed my lips very softly. I pushed myself into him, wanting more. His brushed against my lips which in return I sighed. I moved my hand up into his hair and twisted my fingers in it. He growled in his throat which made me growl in mine. I could feel his arousal against my leg and I couldn't take it anymore. I rolled us so that I was straddling him again. I started to kiss his neck and move down his body. So long have I wanted to do this to him.

I grabbed his shirt and pulled. I heard it rip and with that I gave him an evil grin. He chuckled and I continued to kiss his collarbone and down his chest. When I got close to his navel, he heard him growl and he grabbed my arms and pulled me up to him. He kissed me deep and with a need there. He rolled us over so that he had control now, I could feel his manhood, begging to be free. I moved my hands down towards his belt but he grabbed them and pulled them above my head.

He kissed down my neck till he got to where my dress lay and grabbed the collar and pulled. The sound was painful but yet delightful. I knew that I was laying there naked and that he was about to make us one. My new dress laid there in pieces. He gasped at my body and then gave me a crooked smile, "you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. I love you so much, have for years. Sorry it took me so long to make you mine." I felt something around my left wrist; I looked up and noticed that he had put the bracelet around it. I looked back down and into his eyes. He crushed his lips into mine before I could respond.

We made love until dawn. I was by far the happiest woman on the planet. I had the man of my dreams and a family. Edward would be home next year and we would be a family again. We continued to lie there, making love and talking.


	10. AN

A/N:

I decided that I would love this story at chapter 9. I like the way this chapter ended. I will be doing another story about Rosalie and Emmett. Please feel free to tag me as a favorite author so that you will get update on the new story.

Thanks for all the comments about both of my stories. Hopefully there will be more to come.

Bethy99


End file.
